I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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