Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
oh god was she eating orange peels again
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
