u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
