Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Your dad touched me again.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Randomize
