I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
