I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
