you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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