Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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