you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize