Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
