giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
