I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
