Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
