So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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