i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
