Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Randomize