Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
