Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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