She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
