haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize