I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Randomize
