Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
