I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
