the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
