So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
