I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
