Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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