Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize