Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
