At least make sure they are 18
Why
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
