Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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