the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
