When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
