my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
