Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
