you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
