I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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