Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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