Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
