Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
