Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
