mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
