So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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