well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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