You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
