I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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