a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
