Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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