Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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