508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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