I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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