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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
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