omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize