Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize