I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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