She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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