I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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