Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
