I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
