The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
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