Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
