Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
