why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
