my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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