Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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